Love Letters Left (Not Lost)

Notes left behind around campus by some careless lovers. I wonder if anyone will find them?

Dear Juan,

I feel as if you and I are racing toward one another like a train and a drunk man, stumbling along, counting the tracks in the dead of night.


Dear Anne,

Please, forgive me. I just can’t stop thinking about you. Honestly, I think I might be going crazy. (But—oh!—it’s a delightful sort of crazy! I never want to be sane, if this bliss is what it means to be mad.)

When I close my eyes, I see your face. Blushing, flushed, looking up at me with those thoughtful brown eyes of yours . . .

When you smile you look like a completely different woman.
(I know what you’re thinking: which Anne is the lovelier of
the two? Well, let me assure you, I’d sooner slice out my own
tongue than tell.

You think I’m being silly, I bet. No matter. Laugh at me all you like—I’d be lighted to be laughed at by the gorgeous and delectable Lady Anne. She has the most enlivening laugh. Whenever I hear it, I feel as if I could fly . . .

Forever and always your jester (that is, if you’ll have me?),


Dear M,

If you leave her, I’ll marry you, and we’ll have all the little genius babies your heart desires.

Until you do, however (unless you do?), I don’t feel like it would be right to keep the necklace.

Here’s hoping (for the both of us),
D. R.

Dear B:

These are some things which I love about you:

  • Your smile
  • Your laugh
  • The way you look, looking at me
  • How you always know the right thing to say to make my day a bit less god-awful
  • How you know the answer to any question you’re asked
  • Your confident demeanor (did I spell that correctly?)
  • Your superior spelling ability
  • The way you doodle whales in the margins of your notebooks
  • You always follow through on your commitments to the best of your ability
  • How you probably think that the fact I started this list with physical attributes, rather than personality traits, is just typical.
  • Your taste in British comedies
  • That thing you do with your toes when we’re at the beach
  • How you want to have kids someday
  • How you don’t believe in talking behind people’s backs, even if they’re assholes who deserve it.
  • How you could probably write a much, much better list than I ever could.

Love, Love, Love,

(There is a drawing of a whale at the top of the page, captioned: “My whales look like seals . . .”)